Get Me Outta Here!
by Reimei Uzumaki
Summary: Deidara is sent to an Asylum where he meets Hidan, Kakuzu, Reimei, Ama, and the sexy Dr. Akasuna. Will Deidara catch the red haired doctor's attention? Or will he lose what's left of his sanity trying? SasoDei, KakuHida. Rated for mouth and possible lemon


"Speech"

_'Thoughts'_

_**'Personality not in control at time'**_

Deidara sat silently in the van that was taking him to his new 'home'. He wanted desperately to jump out of the van and run as far away as possible but the straitjacket he wore prevented him from using his arms, therefore opening the door was out of the question. He glared out of the window at the dark building as the van slowly came to a stop. The door soon opened to reveal two men, one with blonde hair, the other with a duck butt hairstyle, dressed in black guard outfits.

"Alright Iwa-san, let's go." the duck butt haired one said, pulling Deidara out of the van.

They walked up to the building, the blonde guard yelling hi at another guard, this one with bright orange hair. Deidara rolled his eyes and shook his head as the duck butt haired guard hit the blond and call him a dobe, which pissed the blonde off and made them start arguing. After several minutes Deidara was going to say something when he was shoved into a large white office. A woman with blonde hair and a large bust was sitting behind a desk. She motioned for him to sit, which he did. She picked up a small stack of papers and looked at him after skimming the top page.

"Deidara, is it?" She asked.

"Yeah, un." He told her. She looked at the papers again.

"It says here that not only did you burn down half of a high school but you also burned down the nearby Junior high."

"Yeah. Is that a problem, un?"

The woman sighed. "Why'd you do it Deidara?" she asked him.

"I was stressed. Finals were coming up and I had a lot of work, un. So I wanted to relieve some stress, un."

"So because you were stressed you burnt down two buildings?"

"Yep, un."

With a heavy sigh the woman set the papers down and stood up. She gave Deidara some all white clothes and wrote something on a notepad.

"During your stay here you'll be living in room 502. Naruto will take you there so you can change and then he will take you to a cafeteria, alright?" she asked.

"Whatever, un."

"Good. Naruto!" At her yell the blonde guard came in.

"Yes, Tsunade-baa-chan?" He asked.

"Take Deidara to room 502 and then to the cafeteria please." Tsunade ordered.

"Hai, Baa-chan!" Naruto exclaimed grabbing Deidara and leaving the office. Several minutes later Naruto lead him into the cafeteria. Deidara got in line and grabbed a tray. A girl with hideous pink hair and sickly green eyes served him what you could only called slop. Deidara disposed of it and grabbed an apple.

"Looks like I'm on an apple only diet for now, un."He mumbled. The guard called Naruto waved him over to a table occupied by a silver haired boy and a guy wearing a mask over a majority of his face. Naruto smiled

"Guys this is Deidara." He told them. The two looked at Deidara for a moment before the one with silver hair smiled and said

"Welcome to fucking hell girly."

Deidara narrowed his eyes. "I'm a guy, un."

Silver hair's eyes widened."You're fucking kidding me! Did you hear that Kakuzu you asshole? She's a guy!" he exclaimed.

"Yes Hidan, I heard." The one with the mask, Kakuzu, said.

"Have a seat you bloody bitch. Hey dumbass, aren't you supposed to go get Reimei?" Hidan asked.

Before Naruto could answer a girl with long blonde hair sat next to Hidan.

"How can he get me when I'm already here Hidan?" she asked.

"How the session with Dr. Akasuna go?" Kakuzu asked.

"Okay I guess. Who's the new guy?" Reimei asked, motioning to Deidara.

"I'm Deidara, un." He told her.

"Nice to meet you, the name's Reimei. You seem pretty sane, so what the hell are you doing here?" She asked him.

"Burned down some buildings to relieve stress. You, un?"

"I have a split personality. Apparently Mari killed about 15 people when I blacked out one time a few years ago."

Deidara nodded thoughtfully and took a bite of his apple. Meanwhile Naruto sat next to Reimei and took out some chocolate and two Monsters, giving one of them to Reimei.

"Thanks Otouto." She said as she opened the energy drink.

Deidara stared at Reimei and Naruto.

"You're siblings, un?" he asked.

"Hai! I started working here two years after Ane was submitted." Naruto answered happily.

"He lets us get away with a lot of shit." Hidan told him.

Suddenly a red haired boy walked by their table. Deidara dropped his apple the second he laid eyes on him. When the boy disappeared Deidara shook his head as if to get out of a trance.

"Who was that, un?" he asked breathlessly.

"Who the red haired asshole?" Hidan asked. Deidara nodded.

"That was Dr. Sasori Akasuna. He's second in command after Tsunade." Naruto answered.

"He's one fine piece of ass isn't he Deidara?" Reimei asked. Deidara turned a deep shade of red and hung his head, hiding his face with his bangs. This caused Reimei to burst out laughing. When her laughter died down she told him

"Don't worry; you're not the only one who thinks so." A screeching sound filled the air for a moment as the intercom came on.

"All those who would like to go to the game room may leave now."It said.

"Well, anyone want to go to the game room? I'm in the mood for poker." Kakuzu stated.

"Why not? We're not betting money this time though. Hey Deidara, wanna come?" Reimei asked him.

"Yeah, come join us you Jashin damned bitch." Hidan prodded.

"Fine, I'm coming, un." He said as he picked his apple up and threw it away. He followed the little group down the hall and into a room on the left. He entered a large white room filled with toys and board games. Hidan beckoned him over to a small table where Kakuzu had already started dealing out the cards. They played five rounds of poker. Deidara and Reimei each won twice, Hidan once and Kakuzu zero. Kakuzu pouted at losing all five rounds but Hidan yelling at him for being a greedy asshole snapped him out of it. As they fought Deidara turned to Reimei.

"Don't worry this usually happens." she told him, "They'll fight for a few minutes before leaving for Hidan's room. I think you can figure out what happens from there."

Deidara nodded, not really wanting to imagine what the two males did in the albino's room. Suddenly he heard a growl come from the blonde haired girl. He looked at her face, noticing her welcoming blue eyes had changed to a deadly silver grey. _'What the hell?'_ he thought when heard her growl out

"Uchiha…"

Deidara turned to see a guard with long, black hair and two scars on his face. He stared blankly at Reimei and monotonously said

"Hello Mari." _'Mari?'_Deidara thought, _'Wasn't that the name of Reimei's other personality?'_

"I thought I told you to stay away from me and Reimei." She told the raven haired guard. Hidan and Kakuzu stopped arguing and watched the two, looking ready to attack if anything happened.

"Really? Last time I checked it was my job to watch you." The Uchiha replied. Mari stood up and walked up to the raven haired man as Naruto caught on to what was happening.

"Listen here you fucking prick, you better back off or else I'll leave more behind then two little scars on that piece of shit you call a face."

"Heh, Are you sure you want to do that? I'll just have you put in isolation again."

"Go jump off a cliff you damn weasel." With that Mari walked away from the onyx eyed man. Itachi took a step toward her when Naruto put a hand on his shoulder.

"I suggest you back off unless you want to be reported for making a patient attack you." He told the Uchiha sternly. The dark haired man shrugged away from the blonde's hand and left the game room. Deidara's attention returned to Mari who was sitting back at the poker table. Her nails seemed to dig into the table's surface as she stared straight ahead of her.

'_**Okay you got the Uchiha bastard to leave, NOW GIVE ME BACK CONTROL!'**_ Reimei yelled at Mari.

'_Hmm…How about no?' _Mari answered smiling evilly. _'I'd much rather see if I can get the blonde into bed.'_

'_**Oh no you don't! Deidara is not your fucking toy!' **_And with that Reimei mentally tackled Mari, fighting for control.

"Is she okay, un?" Deidara asked, looking at the girl who was now clutching her head.

"Yeah, the damn whore is fine. Reimei probably just wants fucking control of herself again." Hidan answered.

"What was with that guy, un?"

"Who? The fucking weasel?"

"Yeah, un."

"We don't know." Kakuzu answered, "It's just for some reason whenever he comes around Mari comes out."

"Kakuzu you damn miser! I was going to fucking say that!" Hidan yelled.

"Well then maybe you should think faster so you can keep a conversation going like a normal person." Kakuzu told him.

The two began to argue again as Mari's grip on her head went lax.

"Mari-san?" Naruto asked. The girl looked up and opened her eyes, which had returned to their original blue.

"Not this time Otouto." She said flashing him a triumphant smile. Naruto sighed in relief as he checked the clock.

"Alright you guys, time to turn in for the night. Go to your rooms." He told them.

The group grumbled slightly and then left the room. Soon Hidan and Kakuzu entered their rooms. When they reached it Reimei dragged Deidara into hers.

"Reimei? What are you doing, un?" Deidara asked.

"This is just a precaution but next time Mari comes out leave the room as soon as possible, alright?" she asked.

"Why, un?"

"Just do it. Please Deidara." she pleaded.

"Alright, if you say so, un." And with that the bomber left her room, not noticing a certain red haired doctor had seen him.

'_Hmm…so that's my new patient. What was he doing in Uzumaki-san's room?'_ Sasori asked himself as he walked away.

'_**Aww…Why'd you have to ruin my fun Reimei?'**_ Mari whined.

'_Because you and your "fun" got me stuck in this shit hole.'_Reimei snapped back.

'_**Well he won't be able to get away every time.**_'

'_And hopefully you'll be gone when that happens. Now shut up so I can sleep!'_With that Reimei crawled into bed and turned out the lights.

**Me: Alright That's done. I will updated my other stories ASAIGM(as soon as I get muse)! HAPPY NEW YEAR!**


End file.
